Thanksgiving 2011

This is the one day of the year that we can all think of at least one thing to be thankful for.  From family and friends to good health and peace of mind, we can all rattle off the commonly named things to be thankful for.  But this Thanksgiving, I’m taking a different approach and I’m thanking God for the confusion, tears, fears, and downright disappointments of the last year.  I have grown so much in the last 12 months as a result of all the storms that have clouded my life.  However, as I look ahead, I can see a rainbow and it’s beautiful.  It represents so many things to me but most importantly, it reminds me that life is indeed about the everyday journeys , the pit stops and potholes along the way and not so much about the final destination.  As this year quickly approaches an end, I am encouraged.  I am looking forward to planting some wonderful seeds in the upcoming weeks and then I’ll be carefully watering them and making sure they get enough sunshine so that when spring arrives, my harvest will be “exceedingly and abundantly, more than I could ever hope, think or even imagine.” (Ephesians 3:20, paraphrased just a bit.)  As always I will close with a question, what are you thankful for?

Bye, Bye Spilled Milk

Image from www.businesspundit.com

Last week, my pastor touched on the notion of letting go and getting over things and not crying over spilled milk. Well, at today’s church service it finally hit me, I have got to let go of the spilled milk in my past. I just realized that when we constantly replay events of the past it keeps them alive and unfortunately, it keeps us stuck in the past. We are unable to see clearly about our future and most importantly, our present. As I was sitting in church thinking last year this time I was in the midst of planning a wedding. Wait a minute, I am really thinking about some stuff I was doing 365 days ago, that has absolutely NOTHING to do with me now. What a major waste of emotional energy!!!! I told myself, “Self, you have got to let it go. You need to write down (or in this case, type) all the spilled milk you are no longer figuratively and some times literally crying over. So here’s my spilled milk list. These are things that I have held on to for way too long and it’s time to let them go…move on..and embrace the now and look expectantly to a better future. I am learning that it’s okay to let things go. You can still learn from the experience without fear of repeating the same mistake if you just let it go. Learn the lesson, apply the lesson but let the event (the spilled milk) go. So as I was saying, here it is my spilled milk list and just so that you can see how long I’ve been holding on to some things I’ve put the number of years that I’ve been holding on to it in parenthesis:

• The wedding that didn’t happen and the failed relationship (1 year- I never imagined that I would get engaged and then have to call off the entire relationship, not just the wedding.  However, replaying the wedding details and the relationship won't change the fact that I didn't get married and that I stayed in a relationship long past it's expiration date.)
• The ex that I broke up with because he didn’t want to get married
(11 years- I know it’s sad but really I had no idea I’ve been holding on to this one so long.  But I guess since I keep replaying it and even kept in touch for a bit it made it seem like just yesterday that we broke up.)
• The fact that I had a child and wasn’t married
(4 years and counting. Now this one I have got to let go of. I can’t change the past and no matter how long I hold on to this one it won’t change the fact that I wasn’t married when I had my wonderful son. So I need to accept the fact and forgive myself and focus on being the best mother I can be to my child.)
• The fact that I’m not married
(13 years and counting. I have been beating myself up for years about this one. I’m sure my close friends are happy that I’m publicly announcing that I’m letting this one go. Since, it’s become a bit of an obsession. I just think about it and try to make it happen and then I'm sad, depressed, angry, and downright mad that it hasn’t happened. So after 13 years and some change, I’m letting it go.  I really feel like it’s time. I feel like it’s a monster I created that I should name since we’ve spent over a decade together.)

In closing, I am really saying that I’m trusting God’s Word and who HE is. In Romans 8:28, It says “and we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (NKJV- New King James Version)

So in other words, all things work for good to those that are called according to HIS purpose. It doesn’t’ say some things but it says ALL things so I have to know that all the spilled milk that I’ve refused to let go of has been meant to work for my good. It’s not easy but it sure is a more peaceful space to just trust God and know that in the end He has my best interest in mind. As always, I love to end with a question so what's the spilled milk that you need to let go of because it’s stinking up your present and your future?

Finding my purpose

in the stillness of the night, i find myself wondering and reflecting about my purpose. why am i here? as a christian, i believe that i was created for a specific purpose that will be a blessing to the world. wow, it's scary to think that we are really here to make this place better. i was watching michael jackson's dangerous tour and it was amazing the effect he had on people. his mere presence was causing fans to scream, cry and some even fainted. i wonder at what point in his life he realized that he had found his purpose. he got it!!! i read somewhere that Michael Jackson is in the Guinness Book of World Records for giving the most money to charities and other causes. How cool is that!!!!! this season in my life is filled with countless light bulb moments. while i still don't know why God created me, i am confident that i must be getting closer to discovering this mystery because i have an unexplainable peace in the midst of one of the biggest storms of my life. i am learning to use my powers for good and not evil. i'm being intentional about my actions. do you believe that everyone has a purpose and if so, have you found yours?

My Lunch @ the Sun Dial Restaurant

Recently, I was attending a conference and had an opportunity to dine at the Sun Dial Restaurant. I truly had no idea what to expect but had heard some good things about the view. Well, the things I heard were definitely an understatement. I have never felt such perfect peace. The view was unbelievable. However, the fact that I was alone permitted me to be still in the moment. I could just gaze out the window and just be. As I sat there having my lunch, I began to wonder how can I capture this peace more often. While I still don’t have an answer, I feel so blessed to know it exists. If you are ever in Atlanta, I strongly recommend you eat at the Sun Dial. In the meantime, have you ever experienced perfect peace and if so, when?