Bye, Bye Spilled Milk

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Last week, my pastor touched on the notion of letting go and getting over things and not crying over spilled milk. Well, at today’s church service it finally hit me, I have got to let go of the spilled milk in my past. I just realized that when we constantly replay events of the past it keeps them alive and unfortunately, it keeps us stuck in the past. We are unable to see clearly about our future and most importantly, our present. As I was sitting in church thinking last year this time I was in the midst of planning a wedding. Wait a minute, I am really thinking about some stuff I was doing 365 days ago, that has absolutely NOTHING to do with me now. What a major waste of emotional energy!!!! I told myself, “Self, you have got to let it go. You need to write down (or in this case, type) all the spilled milk you are no longer figuratively and some times literally crying over. So here’s my spilled milk list. These are things that I have held on to for way too long and it’s time to let them go…move on..and embrace the now and look expectantly to a better future. I am learning that it’s okay to let things go. You can still learn from the experience without fear of repeating the same mistake if you just let it go. Learn the lesson, apply the lesson but let the event (the spilled milk) go. So as I was saying, here it is my spilled milk list and just so that you can see how long I’ve been holding on to some things I’ve put the number of years that I’ve been holding on to it in parenthesis:

• The wedding that didn’t happen and the failed relationship (1 year- I never imagined that I would get engaged and then have to call off the entire relationship, not just the wedding.  However, replaying the wedding details and the relationship won't change the fact that I didn't get married and that I stayed in a relationship long past it's expiration date.)
• The ex that I broke up with because he didn’t want to get married
(11 years- I know it’s sad but really I had no idea I’ve been holding on to this one so long.  But I guess since I keep replaying it and even kept in touch for a bit it made it seem like just yesterday that we broke up.)
• The fact that I had a child and wasn’t married
(4 years and counting. Now this one I have got to let go of. I can’t change the past and no matter how long I hold on to this one it won’t change the fact that I wasn’t married when I had my wonderful son. So I need to accept the fact and forgive myself and focus on being the best mother I can be to my child.)
• The fact that I’m not married
(13 years and counting. I have been beating myself up for years about this one. I’m sure my close friends are happy that I’m publicly announcing that I’m letting this one go. Since, it’s become a bit of an obsession. I just think about it and try to make it happen and then I'm sad, depressed, angry, and downright mad that it hasn’t happened. So after 13 years and some change, I’m letting it go.  I really feel like it’s time. I feel like it’s a monster I created that I should name since we’ve spent over a decade together.)

In closing, I am really saying that I’m trusting God’s Word and who HE is. In Romans 8:28, It says “and we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (NKJV- New King James Version)

So in other words, all things work for good to those that are called according to HIS purpose. It doesn’t’ say some things but it says ALL things so I have to know that all the spilled milk that I’ve refused to let go of has been meant to work for my good. It’s not easy but it sure is a more peaceful space to just trust God and know that in the end He has my best interest in mind. As always, I love to end with a question so what's the spilled milk that you need to let go of because it’s stinking up your present and your future?

My Early Christmas Present

Greetings from the wonderful world of contentment and never-ending smiles.  I come to you live and in full effect.  For the past year, I have been coveting a Kindle and most recently, the Barnes and Noble Nook.  Since I love to read and often wish I had a book while waiting in line or when I have a few extra minutes, an ereader would be the perfect solution.  However, as many of you know I am committed to getting out of debt ASAP and just can't rationalize spending over $200 bucks for an ereader.  I mean come on...think of how many books you could buy for $200.  I decided to do some research because surely there had to be a more "budget -friendly" ereader.  I'm happy to say that I found one.  It's called the Ebookwise -1150 and I LOVE it!   Now don't get me wrong it is not as sleek looking as the more expensive ereaders and you can't download books wirelessly.  However, I'm okay with having to download my books using a USB connection and a computer.  The biggest bonus is that the Ebookwise can read a variety of formats so now I can access FREE materials from my local library.  As Christmas quickly approaches, what present would add a never-ending smile to your face?

Money vs. Happiness

Oh my goodness, I am so excited to say that a comment I left on J. Money's blog was quoted in a MSN Smart Spending article. J. Money posed a great question: Would you rather be rich with a job you hate or poor with a job you love? Well, as I remain unemployed and unable to find a teaching job, I chose the second option. I really believe that at this point in my life my happiness is not tied to money. I also think the word poor is relative. My current goal is to find a job that will cover my monthly expenses while allowing me to save a bit too. This job however can't compromise my time with my family, my church, and myself. I'm just not willing to work 70 - 80 hours a week and then not be able to enjoy the fruits of my labor because I'm stressed and downright tired. In the past few months, I have had to make some major changes in my spending. I don't eat out as much, I don't rent movies or even go to the movies as frequently, and I don't spend as much on scrapbooking stuff. However, I have an unbelievable amount of peace because I really feel like I'm getting closer to God's purpose for my life. With each passing day, I'm learning that the acquisition of stuff and fancy titles isn't what life should be about. Instead it's about relationships. Since I've been unemployed, I have settled into a much slower pace that has truly benefited my relationship with my son. Of course, I know that all of us need a source of income. However, I think many of us are confused about WHO is really the source that sustains us. So I think it's only fitting that I ask you the same question: Which would you choose: money or happiness?