What I’ve Learned from Whitney Houston’s death

It all seems so surreal as I reflect on this event. I was on the highway listening to the radio when all of a sudden a breaking news report cut in. I missed the first few seconds of the report (I was probably still singing the song that was playing not realizing that it had stopped.) As I focused on the reporter’s words, I was stunned because I kept thinking why is he referring to Whitney Houston in past tense? Did she die? When? What happened? Is this a hoax? But then in the minutes and hours that passed, I learned that she had died and quite tragically at that. Something about some prescription drugs, alcohol, and a hotel bathroom.

Just think last week this time, Whitney Houston was a 48-year old woman getting ready for one of the biggest events of the music world. She was planning to attend the Grammys and some of the parties that are held for this event. Just one week later, Whitney Houston is gone and her family is preparing for her homegoing service. Wow, when I really pause and think about this, it’s humbling and eye-opening all at the same time. How differently would Whitney have lived her life this past week if she had known it would be her last? So I am forced to ask myself this exact same question, what would I be doing my last week on Earth? While I sincerely hope that this isn’t my last week here, we never know and so I am accepting that some things just don’t matter in the long run. So I release myself from the meaningless worries of today in an effort to make the most of my remaining days here on this Earth.

Goodbye to feeling guilty about the amount of time I’m not spending with my son and Hello to making the most of the time we do spend together

Goodbye to being mad that you didn’t call or that you don’t want to hang out or that you don’t want to be in a relationship (right now) and Hello to today and this moment and my love for life and God and family and friends

Goodbye to feeling like I have to answer the phone and respond to every text and email I receive and Hello to getting back to you if and when I have time

Goodbye to worrying about this pouch and Hello to accepting that I might never have a flat-stomach and being happy that I have enough food to eat on a daily basis

Goodbye to my old view on life and Hello to embracing the hard fact that tomorrow isn’t promised so that my today will be, without a doubt one of the best days of my life

In closing, I hope that as you reflect on death that you are encouraged to live your life in a constant state of thanksgiving and joy and most importantly with as few regrets as possible.

Bye, Bye Spilled Milk

Image from www.businesspundit.com

Last week, my pastor touched on the notion of letting go and getting over things and not crying over spilled milk. Well, at today’s church service it finally hit me, I have got to let go of the spilled milk in my past. I just realized that when we constantly replay events of the past it keeps them alive and unfortunately, it keeps us stuck in the past. We are unable to see clearly about our future and most importantly, our present. As I was sitting in church thinking last year this time I was in the midst of planning a wedding. Wait a minute, I am really thinking about some stuff I was doing 365 days ago, that has absolutely NOTHING to do with me now. What a major waste of emotional energy!!!! I told myself, “Self, you have got to let it go. You need to write down (or in this case, type) all the spilled milk you are no longer figuratively and some times literally crying over. So here’s my spilled milk list. These are things that I have held on to for way too long and it’s time to let them go…move on..and embrace the now and look expectantly to a better future. I am learning that it’s okay to let things go. You can still learn from the experience without fear of repeating the same mistake if you just let it go. Learn the lesson, apply the lesson but let the event (the spilled milk) go. So as I was saying, here it is my spilled milk list and just so that you can see how long I’ve been holding on to some things I’ve put the number of years that I’ve been holding on to it in parenthesis:

• The wedding that didn’t happen and the failed relationship (1 year- I never imagined that I would get engaged and then have to call off the entire relationship, not just the wedding.  However, replaying the wedding details and the relationship won't change the fact that I didn't get married and that I stayed in a relationship long past it's expiration date.)
• The ex that I broke up with because he didn’t want to get married
(11 years- I know it’s sad but really I had no idea I’ve been holding on to this one so long.  But I guess since I keep replaying it and even kept in touch for a bit it made it seem like just yesterday that we broke up.)
• The fact that I had a child and wasn’t married
(4 years and counting. Now this one I have got to let go of. I can’t change the past and no matter how long I hold on to this one it won’t change the fact that I wasn’t married when I had my wonderful son. So I need to accept the fact and forgive myself and focus on being the best mother I can be to my child.)
• The fact that I’m not married
(13 years and counting. I have been beating myself up for years about this one. I’m sure my close friends are happy that I’m publicly announcing that I’m letting this one go. Since, it’s become a bit of an obsession. I just think about it and try to make it happen and then I'm sad, depressed, angry, and downright mad that it hasn’t happened. So after 13 years and some change, I’m letting it go.  I really feel like it’s time. I feel like it’s a monster I created that I should name since we’ve spent over a decade together.)

In closing, I am really saying that I’m trusting God’s Word and who HE is. In Romans 8:28, It says “and we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (NKJV- New King James Version)

So in other words, all things work for good to those that are called according to HIS purpose. It doesn’t’ say some things but it says ALL things so I have to know that all the spilled milk that I’ve refused to let go of has been meant to work for my good. It’s not easy but it sure is a more peaceful space to just trust God and know that in the end He has my best interest in mind. As always, I love to end with a question so what's the spilled milk that you need to let go of because it’s stinking up your present and your future?

All About Me

(I haven't read this book yet but I love the title so I have added it to my books to read list.)


First, I really appreciate everyone tuning in to the adventures of Ms. Lady last week. I hope you enjoyed meeting my alter-ego but now I would like to re-introduce myself as I feel like the Me 2.0 version now. Over the past few months, I have quit a job, got hit by an 18-wheeler, was unemployed for 3 months, gained about 15 pounds, and battled depression almost on a daily basis. I didn't realize that all of these events were helping shape the new me. Each event forced me to make a much needed change in my thinking thus positively affecting my actions. The first major change was embracing that God is really in control and worrying is absolutely pointless. I spent a lot of time just worrying myself about situations and circumstances that were completely out of my control. It took me months to see that worrying won't solve my problems any faster. So I decided to quit worrying or at least not worry as much and make the best of my situation. Here are 5 good things that have happened as a result of being in my "valley":


1.) I learned to really live on a budget and spend within my means.

2.) My son and I spend quality time together EVERYDAY. Even if it's only for 15 minutes,I stop and give him my undivided attention. (I must admit though Candy Land isn't as much fun when you're an adult.)

3.) I learned how to cook and I actually enjoy it.

4.) I get up at 4:30 a.m. to workout at least 4 days a week.

5.) I landed my dream job. I'm a technology teacher at an elementary school.

As I continue to reflect on the past few months in my life, I can't help but pause and just thank God for His Grace. As always, I must end with a question (that will hopefully move you to leave a comment), what bad has caused some good in your life?

Finding my purpose

in the stillness of the night, i find myself wondering and reflecting about my purpose. why am i here? as a christian, i believe that i was created for a specific purpose that will be a blessing to the world. wow, it's scary to think that we are really here to make this place better. i was watching michael jackson's dangerous tour and it was amazing the effect he had on people. his mere presence was causing fans to scream, cry and some even fainted. i wonder at what point in his life he realized that he had found his purpose. he got it!!! i read somewhere that Michael Jackson is in the Guinness Book of World Records for giving the most money to charities and other causes. How cool is that!!!!! this season in my life is filled with countless light bulb moments. while i still don't know why God created me, i am confident that i must be getting closer to discovering this mystery because i have an unexplainable peace in the midst of one of the biggest storms of my life. i am learning to use my powers for good and not evil. i'm being intentional about my actions. do you believe that everyone has a purpose and if so, have you found yours?

The Love of My Life

Since this is the last Sunday in February and thus my last post focusing on love and relationships, I decided to write about the love of my life.

Have you ever loved someone so much that…

You secretly wish that he would never leave your presence and that you could
spend every single minute together?

You watch him sleep because you just can’t take your eyes off of him?

You literally hang on to his every word, just waiting to see what he’ll say next,in fact sometimes you ask stupid questions just to hear his voice?

You would rather spend a lifetime in hell with him, than be in heaven without
him?

You know in your mind, body, and soul that you all are absolutely perfect for
each other?

You can’t remember what life was like before you met him?

You smile so big when you see him that sometimes your face hurts?

You talk about him every chance you get to anyone who will listen?

You spend way too much money buying him stuff he probably doesn’t even
need?

You thank God for him so much that God must be sick of hearing you say his
name?

At this point, I know you all are wondering who is this person?
The love of my life is …my son!!!!!!!!!!!