Tuesday, August 11, 2009

It's been a few hours so I've had some time to gather my thoughts and figure out which direction I want to go with this post. I hope that by the end of this, I will have caused you to think harder and longer about your actions and more importantly how they may or may not reflect God's love. NACA an organization that helps people modify and refinance their home loans held a four-day event here in Atlanta. I originally found out about it Sunday after church and signed up. However, I didn't have all the necessary paperwork with me and I also had my 2-year son with me. Since the process can take several hours, I decided to leave, complete the paperwork online and return today (Tuesday) without my little one. So Sunday night, I went online, completed all the forms, and registered for a home save event scheduled in two weeks. But since I was off today, I decided to catch MARTA(our transit system) downtown to attend this event instead. In hopes of getting my ARM set to a reasonable fixed rate. The mortgage company had recently agreed to fixed it at the current rate of 10.99% (of course, I declined this offer. But that's a story for another post) Sorry, I do get a bit distracted at times. So when I arrive downtown the line to attend the event and receive housing counseling is unreal. It's like probably a thousand people in line. Keep in mind it's about 10 a.m. and it's already around 85 degrees. So I'm like okay I sure hope I see someone I know. Well don't you know I see someone from my church and I'm like omgoodness, I'm so glad to see you. To which she promptly replied, Oh no, you need to go to the back of the line. God must have put His hand over my mouth because my reply was just a polite, "oh, okay."
Of course on the inside I was like WTF(what the freak)...did I just see someone from Church, i.e. a fellow Christian and she said no.

Now please let me explain why I'm more saddened that angered at her actions. First, I am pretty sure that she knows I'm a single mother (since she's seen and spoken to me and my son at church numerous times.) Secondly, this wasn't a line for concert tickets but for people trying to save their homes. (Now, while my house isn't on the brink of foreclosure...she doesn't know that.) Thirdly, where's the Christian love? I know that it's wrong to cut in line BUT!!!!!!!! Honestly, I really can't imagine that if I saw Jesus in line, He would have told me to go to the back. I am saddened because:
what if my house was in foreclosure?
what if as a single mom, i had a limited amount of time and had to pick up my son?
what if i was feeling like crap and this was my last hope?
i could of course go on and on with the what ifs but i won't. Instead I will challenge all of us to pay it forward. We are here to be a blessing to each other. I feel blessed that I signed up online and will be attending the other event but I do hope that we remember we are not judges. Just think if the mortgage lenders had the same attitude as my fellow churchgoer, the event wouldn't even be happening. Instead the general consensus would be that you shouldn't need or expect someone to help you and that you should just deal with it. In closing, I have to ask, am I wrong for feeling some kinda way? If Jesus had been waiting in line for hours and saw someone from His church (who could potentially be losing their house), do you think He would have let me cut the line? I'm excited to see what other people think.
(p.s. i have no idea if the person i'm referring to reads my blog, but if so, i sincerely don't have any hard feelings against her. instead, this experience has helped me be more committed to sharing and showing God's love to others.)

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Finding my purpose

in the stillness of the night, i find myself wondering and reflecting about my purpose. why am i here? as a christian, i believe that i was created for a specific purpose that will be a blessing to the world. wow, it's scary to think that we are really here to make this place better. i was watching michael jackson's dangerous tour and it was amazing the effect he had on people. his mere presence was causing fans to scream, cry and some even fainted. i wonder at what point in his life he realized that he had found his purpose. he got it!!! i read somewhere that Michael Jackson is in the Guinness Book of World Records for giving the most money to charities and other causes. How cool is that!!!!! this season in my life is filled with countless light bulb moments. while i still don't know why God created me, i am confident that i must be getting closer to discovering this mystery because i have an unexplainable peace in the midst of one of the biggest storms of my life. i am learning to use my powers for good and not evil. i'm being intentional about my actions. do you believe that everyone has a purpose and if so, have you found yours?