Recently my man-friend and his squad (a.k.a his 3 children) were at my house. We decided to play wii and started by creating our mii profiles. I had already created mine. She was..well representative of me or at least how I wanted to be. My mii was the chocolate brown ,slim, mole having, hair fly,funky-fresh glasses wearing diva that I hope to be. Back to the original story, man friend’s baby girl got to go first and this is the conversation that ensued while she was creating her mii.
Baby girl: Oh, I like this one.
Me: Ummmm, are you going to make her a little darker and change her hair color? You’re not white and you don’t have yellow hair.
Baby girl: NO, I like her this way.
Me: But I thought our mii’s were supposed to look like us. She doesn’t look like you.
Baby girl: I don’t want to change her. Daddy, do I have to change her?
Man Friend: No, sweetie, you don’t have to change her. She’s fine.
Me: Oops, I’m sorry. I guess I just thought that mii’s should look like us.
So baby girl’s mii stayed peach with yellow hair. Now, as a black woman, I am very concerned about baby girl’s self image. She is surrounded by mostly black people however she absolutely adores Hannah Montana. Since she is only 6 years old, I’m concerned that she might not like her color and wishes she was white. Tell me what you think, am I overreacting or do I need to expose baby girl to more woman of color?
8 comments:
Oh Baby Girl most definitely needs some exposure. You are not overreacting.......but you're a good one cuz my man-friend would have probably been pissed at me. I would not have been able to let that one go. It is so important for our kids to acknowledge and love their skin so that when someone does come out their mouth crazy about their skin color, they have enough pride to let it roll of of their backs and not decide that they want to look like Hannah Montana. I could write a book on this, but I'll stop now before I start sweating ;) Kudos to you for at least trying to enlighten Baby Girl.
You didn't overreact at all. It's probably good that you didn't exist but some changes have got to be made. Every time you brush her hair or put lotion on her, she has got to know how beautiful her hair and skin is. Watch Akeelah and the Bee. I love that movie.
This is not untypical of young black girls. Studies show that even in this day, black girls look at whites as being better looking and more trusting than blacks. Exposure is not the answer-totally. Remember, she is already surrounded by black folk. Maybe the answer is awareness. First, the child needs to be asked why she feels that way. Second, she needs to learn about her culture and importance of how it came to shape American culture. Also, she needs to understand what it means to a beautiful young black lady. It looks as if her father and the people around her do not understand. Oh hell, most of us grew up the same way. Self hatred.
I don't think you overreacted at all. Although she may be idolizing hannah montana it is very important for her to know and like who she is. I'm not sure what steps you can take to help her be more confident with her looks.
I hate to be the lone wolf, but I wouldn't take it too seriously at this age. I agree that you can do things to make her feel good about herself, but surrounding her and/or increasing the number of blacks around her will not solve this issue. Have you thought that she might have this issue because she is not around whites enough? Her lack of exposure to other races and cultures could be fueling a little fascination with white skin and blond hair.
My son once had to pick out a colored paper doll to decorate as a depiction of himself and chose one about 10 shades darker than his complexion. He was about 7 or 8 and a lot of the other kids in the class did the same thing, picking dolls that did not reflect themselves accurately.
There's nothing wrong with her liking Hannah Montana. Don't you like white artists/actors?
My girlfriend's kids did the same thing with their characters. I was taken back but I don't think it's cause to be too alarmed. You sound like you're on it ... exposure and affirmation are key. She's young, but start now.
This is my first time here. Looking forward to reading more...
Winks & Smiles,
Wifey
Wow ! Baby girl is showing her creative side. Clear the way for the next top hairstylist
i wouldn't jump all the way to some repressed form of self hate... i would, however, suggest that maybe she could be more aware of both who she is and who fairer skinned people are. give her a pass on this one
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